


In Bed

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cookies, Crack, F/M, Fortune Cookies, Humor, M/M, Team Bonding, Tony Being Tony, flirtation, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 04:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5694346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony insists they all play a game as they eat fortune cookies. Implied established canon pairings. Flirtation between non-canon pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Bed

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [В постели](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8306962) by [faikit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faikit/pseuds/faikit)



> For fan-flashworks for the Fortune challenge.

“So at the end of whatever the fortune says, add ‘In bed,’” Tony said as they each grabbed a fortune cookie.

“An interesting custom,” Thor said.

“Only Tony still thinks it’s funny,” Natasha said.

“Traditions are important,” Tony replied quickly. 

“I’m actually surprised that the rest of you have heard of this,” Steve said, “I figured it was just Tony trolling Thor and myself…. I looked up the definition of ‘trolling’ by the way.”

“Yeah, we’re all real proud. Okay, here we go,” Clint said, after cracking his open. “In the near future you will reach great heights.”

“In bed,” Tony said. “You will reach great heights _in bed._ Good one, by the way. Now Bruce.”

Bruce straightened the paper and read, “A calm mind is the best source of solutions. Well, that’s apt.”

“A calm mind is the best source of solutions in bed,” Tony corrected. “Thor?”

“Great power comes from a pure heart,” Thor read, then, seeing Tony, added, “In bed. That is a very nice sentiment. I shall share it with Jane when I visit her.”

“You really don’t need to do that,” Natasha said. 

“Yours, Romanov?” Tony said.

She sighed. “Recall the past but do not live in it.” 

“In bed.”

“Tony, that one makes no sense with ‘in bed,’” Steve pointed out.

“Whatever, Cap, your turn.”

Steve read, “You will soon find an end to your loneliness… in bed.” He looked consternated, but then the other Avengers all laughed and Steve joined them.

“Okay, my turn,” Tony said. He read, “You will be of great service to your friends. IN BED.” He giggled.

“Is that an offer?” Clint said with a smirk. 

“If you can get Pepper to sign off on it,” Tony joked, waggling his eyebrows at Clint. 

“Nah, I’d be too much for you to handle,” Clint said smugly, and Tony pretended to be offended, to the amusement of the group. 

“This is a delightful custom,” Thor declared. “JARVIS, could you please read off Earth’s news stories and say ‘in bed’ at the end of each?” 

“That’s not the custom, really,” Bruce said, but JARVIS had already compiled the list:

_“Toxic Waste Accumulates in Bed._

_“Congress Fails to Achieve Anything this Session in Bed._

_“Court Ends Civil Rights Protections in Bed_

_“Massive Debt Scares Investors in Bed_

_“Public Questions if the Avengers Are Truly a Force for Good in Bed._

_“Will that suffice, Mr. Thor, or would you like more headlines?”_

“That was depressing,” Clint said.

Thor said, “That is fine, thank you, JARVIS.”

“Okay, who wants the last fortune cookie?” Tony said, changing the subject.

“Let’s read the message and then decide who to give it to,” Bruce said.

“Without breaking the cookie?” Steve asked.

Two scientists and two spies with top-level training in theft all scoffed at once.

Natasha took the fortune out of the cookie and read, “Even those who know you best are curious about you.”

“In bed,” Tony added quietly.

The Avengers looked at one another. 

“Fury,” Clint and Natasha said at once, and the others all nodded as Natasha slipped the paper back into the intact cookie.


End file.
